poniedziałek, 2 grudnia 2013

Strengthening Gay Relationships in a Heterosexual Society

Any idea where you stand in regard to demographics? I mean with your same-sex relationship? In other words do you know the percentage of the US population that identifies itself as Gay or Lesbian? Here is a multiple choice answer. We will examine the correct answer a bit downward in the article - 5.2%?  1.7%? 31.1%? 15%?
No matter which answer you chose, you will agree that the majority of the population in the US is hetero-sexual. Even though there is angst over "marriage penalty" and divorce rate is 45% of all marriages, it is a common fact that far more people in the US do not practice homosexuality than those who do.
This brings to mind a few challenges for gays and lesbians. The key ones, such as equality of rights, recognition of marriage etc. are important. But what about your rights to peacefully avow a gay or lesbian lifestyle in every day life? Whether you call your partner wife or husband, you have a right to live normally, at least according to your personal code of conduct, don't you?
Yet you are surrounded by hetero-sexuals. At work, at play, in clubs etc. How do you cope?
Well, let us first dispense with the quiz. The correct answer to the question, what percentage of US population is openly gay or lesbian?
1.7% in 2012 or about 4 million
This according to Gary Gates, of the Williams Institute in San Francisco, a creditable institution for gay and lesbian causes.
Here are a few tips on how to cope:

1. Choose your "fights" over gay and lesbian causes. Most people who do not follow your cause, but may be compassionate, get instantly turned off by aggressive, in-your-face vocalization or verbalization of gay rights. Social parties or business exchanges are definitely not to profess your militancy.
2. Behave with your partner in public as hetero-sexuals behave. Stop "coming-on". Your sexuality should be left in your bedroom. I lived next to a same sex couple and attended many parties with them. I do not recall a single instance when, other than the fact they were of the same sex, I could tell them apart from the other attendees. Remember, people will read into your body language, the way you establish your "sex" within the perspective of your relationship and other gestures.
3. Fight with facts, not with emotion. If you do have to get vocal, have facts on your side. Do not get into discussion about "nature vs. nurture" and other hoaky factoids. You will not convince anyone and make more adversaries.
4. Be social. I mean this seriously. Why even go to a gay bar regularly? Are you ashamed of being seen together at regular restaurants, bars and other public places? Going to a gay bar in my opinion, except once in a rare while, is to acknowledge you are a minority and should be treated "special".
5. Be choosy in selecting or even joining the so-called "support groups". Make absolutely sure you and your partner are compatible and share values.
In summary, lead a normal life. Your sexuality has nothing to do with your intellect, your earning power and your relationships, gay or otherwise.

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